Jennifer Parello Posts

Dateland: The Evil Asparagus

This morning I received a call from my good friend, Stacy, detailing an unfolding work drama with her new archenemy. The archenemy is named Fifi. “Is she a poodle?” I asked. A fair question given […]

Dateland: Vowless

A year and a half ago, as we were drafting our wedding vows, I wanted us both to promise to never, ever, keep Cheez It crackers in the house. We quickly decided to keep that […]

Dateland: Shanghai Madam

Last week, I received the following email message from my friend Scott: “New bio of Wallis Simpson released. Read immediately. Then discuss asap.” Even though Scott is only ten years older than me, he prefers […]

Dateland: The Fairy Tale Continues

Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to read a compilation of all the people who have been killed by alligators in Florida since 1990. Especially not right before we headed to an alligator-rich area to […]

Dateland: Women I Don’t Like, Vol. 2

I’m Facebook friends with my archenemy. Several years ago, when I learned she was leaving the company we worked for, I broke out in a jig in my office. And I don’t even know how […]

Dateland: Women I Don’t Like, Vol. 1

A few months ago, my spouse, C, was invited to dinner by a woman of some renown in their shared profession. I do not like this woman—let’s call her Horrible (not her real name). In […]

Dateland: Nitpicking

There is a theory that our human ancestors developed the ability to speak while checking each other for lice and other pests. This theory—called Gossiping and Grooming—maintains that speech developed during the countless hours our […]

Dateland: Total Eclipse Of My Heart

I’m writing this a few weeks before our world goes dark. A total solar eclipse will slide on a narrow path across the beltline of this country in late August. When you are in the […]

Dateland: Missing The Diaper Years

I once asked a friend who works at the post office why there are so many rage shootings at her organization. She thought about it for a moment and then said, “No matter how hard […]

Dateland: Free Bird

Pet birds hate me. This is a problem I’ve had to deal with my entire life. Any time I visit friends who have a pet bird, the bird begins bouncing manically on its perch and […]

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