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Out in the Stars

By Lavender July 17, 2009

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Horoscope for July 17-30 Hold on to your hearts and heads during the solar eclipse on July 22. Emotions can run high and amok. Count ten days before and three days after the eclipse before you react. If it’s still a match made in heaven, then strike a pose, and start a raging fire.

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 20)
Proud Rams feel that they are building castles in the air this period. Family relationships and domestic issues undergo an acid test, as the demands of others seem to undercut your sense of well-being and personal security. But don’t hop on that bulldozer, and plow it under just yet. Take the time you need to mesh your opinions with your personal commitments.

TAURUS (APRIL 21-MAY 21)
Prepare for a few surprises of your own making this period. Queer Bulls may catch hoof in mouth if they’re not vigilant and tight-lipped. My advice: Avoid dispensing your pearls of wisdom to any old swine that happens to tromp by. Your words only will come back to bite you. Wait until next period before you use that tongue again…for communication purposes, that is.

GEMINI (MAY 22-JUNE 21)
Pink Twins are no slouches when it comes to slouching off. However, you’ll find yourself examining the bottom line during this solar eclipse. One is tempted to ask, “What cost frivolity?” It all may seem too expensive in terms of both money and personal compromise. Well, that’s today. By next period, things look quite different. Life becomes one big jolly bargain again.

CANCER (JUNE 22-JULY 23)
Gay Crabs feel particularly emotional this period, because of the eclipse. Every time you look in the mirror, you cringe. Any hope of bolstering your self-image will have to wait until next period. In the meantime, just avoid mirrors and first-time meetings to preserve your sanity. In reality, of course, you have been and always will be your beautiful, proud self. Wow!

LEO (JULY 24-AUGUST 23)
Those who do not have your best interests at heart too easily can push you into action. Keep your own counsel, proud Lion. Keep a beady eye out for offers who are too good to be true—they usually are. Any Lion who fails to consider the repercussions of a particular act can wind up as road kill on this karmic highway. Avoid becoming hamburger.

VIRGO (AUGUST 24-SEPTEMBER 23)
You have two ears and two advisers, each goading and cajoling you into action from their own selfish (but well-meaning) viewpoints. Try to lower the volume and clear the static this period by finding the balance between two close friends and yourself. If you are a queer Virgin with a need to please, find ways of limiting your good gay deeds to helping yourself.

LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 24-OCTOBER 23)
You will be amazed how the professional sandbox can develop into quicksand. Maybe it’s because proud Libras now will feel that their hard efforts are not being recognized or rewarded adequately. Of course, that is true, but count one, two, three, or even up to ten. Soon, you’ll feel much better and more in control. Believe me, they need you much more than you need them.

SCORPIO (OCTOBER 24-NOVEMBER 22)
Proud Scorps feel trapped and uninformed. But this is just your perception, and not the reality. Everything that you’re working toward suddenly may seem meaningless and burdensome. Thank goodness you won’t overreact. You can gain a more global perspective on your tiny foibles. Remember, just like a kidney stone, this too shall pass. Ouch.

SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 23-DECEMBER 22)
Talk about jumping from the frying pan into a raging fire! Gay Archers find their social scene too hot to trot this period. Before you gleefully nose dive into that bubbling gay sexual cauldron, and possibly singe your best assets, wait, wait, wait. Now, too much is truly, in fact, too, too much. After the period limps to a close, however, prepare to pack a snorkel, and dive right in.

CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 23-JANUARY 20)
Gay Caps no sooner find the perfect mate in their own backyard than they’re transferred to the Borneo headquarters, or, perhaps even worse, dragged into messy office politics that zap their emotional payload. How soon before you cash in your chips, and retire with your special someone? Not soon enough! Gird your loins, and enter the fray once and for all.

AQUARIUS (JANUARY 21-FEBRUARY 19)
The difference between gainful employment and an unplanned early retirement is a few well-aimed words at the powers that be. As the period progresses, it eats through your bread-and-butter issues. Aqueerians are well-advised not to spread foul comments about the job. Temper your outlook, wait until next period, and then piss and moan all you want. You still want to, don’t you?

PISCES (FEBRUARY 20-MARCH 20)
Feel like a mangy lab rat with a bad hair day on a never-ending bumpy treadmill? Guppies just want to have fun, but find themselves betwixt and between. Before you cash in your chips, and go home to watch TV and eat popcorn, give the party one more look-and-see. You may find that a particular person is waiting there for you to boogie down.

© 2009 THE STARRY EYE, LLC. All Rights Reserved. For Entertainment Purposes Only. Lichtenstein’s blog www.thestarryeye.typepad.com covers everything New Age. Her astrology book HerScopes: A Guide to Astrology for Lesbians is the best in tongue-in-cheek astrology.

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