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Out in the Stars

By Lavender May 8, 2009

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Horoscope for May 8-21 Mercury in Gemini retrogrades, and backs into Taurus this period. Communications go awry, as we are either misunderstood, or speak out of turn. Will we be able to get our point across? Let’s just see….Ouch!

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 20)
Although you know exactly what you want, the fates conspire to overdeliver or underdeliver on them this period. You may not get what you pay for. The best advice I can give gay Rams is to modify your expectations, and expect the unexpected. You eventually can become a driving force, but be sure to keep your vision focused clearly on the road ahead. No detours, please.

TAURUS (APRIL 21-MAY 21)
First impressions may not go as anticipated. Queer Bulls with people to meet and greet might want to defer any important liaisons until the end of the month. But if you can maintain a sense of humor, you may be able to recapture the magic of the first encounter, and make it work for you for future success. However, I suggest you leave the whoopee cushion at home.

GEMINI (MAY 22-JUNE 21)
If a confidante offers you a juicy secret, make no promises on keeping it this period. Pink Twins now have loose lips that can sink any and all ships. As much as you try to be discreet, nothing can be kept under wraps, it seems, including secrets about yourself. Be prepared to have it exposed, and all hanging out. But, hey, they say some Geminis like it that way.

CANCER (JUNE 22-JULY 23)
Expect a misunderstanding among friends this period, as what you think you heard, or what they think you said, undergoes a dramatic reinterpretation. Phone calls are missed, invitations are lost in the e-mail, and feelings may get bruised. But all is not lost! Forgive and forget. Vow to double- and triple-check any platonic communication. Then, party on!

LEO (JULY 24-AUGUST 23)
You think that you are a corporate star, but be careful not to become a shooting star on down trajectory. Avoid any dramatic and important presentations or talks this period, when what you say can be misinterpreted. You will be back to full, glorious, proud Lion form toward the end of the month. In the meantime, try to blend into the professional background. Uh, oh.

VIRGO (AUGUST 24-SEPTEMBER 23)
Travel plans may go awry, as reservations get lost or change unexpectedly. But if you are in the mood for adventure and surprising fun, you might want to go with the cosmic flow, and see where life takes you. Queer Virgins are advised to double-check all plans…and carry a toothbrush with them at all times. Now, where did I last see your luggage?

LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 24-OCTOBER 23)
If you find that your best and sexiest moves are slightly off the mark this period, don’t panic. Proud Libras often know all the right things to do to attract whomever they want, but now, some of your actions are taken out of context. Chalk up your lack of finesse to the vagaries of the fates, and resolve to behave-well, at least for this period. Next period will be another thing.

SCORPIO (OCTOBER 24-NOVEMBER 22)
Queer Scorps may feel the need to unburden themselves to partners, but I would wait. This period, you are apt to say one thing too much, or have your heartfelt opinions totally misinterpreted. Postpone heavy discussions or disagreements. Don’t rock the boat. Let it gently sway in the wind. For those seeking a connection, let your actions speak prouder than your words.

SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 23-DECEMBER 22)
This is the perfect period to make your excuses, and take a short vacation. The disfunctionality of the job makes itself apparent. Your ability to get things done is hampered by nitpicky problems and misdirection. Don’t sweat it. This is all small stuff. But you can reduce your stress by finding other, more pleasant activities to fill your time. Anyone we know?

CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 23-JANUARY 20)
While you ache to have a good time, good times you find may make you ache for structure. Pink Caps are in the thick of the festivities, but cannot control the action. Anything you say winds up being ignored or misused. Why fight it? Sit back, and let others call the shots. You may have a good time despite yourself…if you don’t misplace the directions to the event!

AQUARIUS (JANUARY 21-FEBRUARY 19)
Any family discussions should be put on hold this period. Aqueerians with a bone to pick with relatives will not be able to convince them of their evil ways. In fact, it may make matters worse. So, give yourself a reprieve, and enjoy any spare time with friends or lovers. If that doesn’t work, find some quiet time alone. Maybe that will occur anyway. Ahem.

PISCES (FEBRUARY 20-MARCH 20)
Anything you say can and will be held against you, Guppie. Try to consider your words carefully before you speak this period. Your great ideas may miss the mark. You may, in turn, not listen carefully enough to what others have to say. Avoid hurt feelings by finding ways to communicate that leave little room for misinterpretation. Speak softly, and carry a big stick.

© 2009 THE STARRY EYE, LLC. All Rights Reserved. For Entertainment Purposes Only. Lichtenstein’s blog www.thestarryeye.typepad.com covers everything New Age. Her astrology book HerScopes: A Guide to Astrology for Lesbians is the best in tongue-in-cheek astrology.

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