A Few Words: 20 Rules for Forming a #Squad

Bigstock/Luna Vandoorne

Bigstock/Luna Vandoorne

  1. Assemble approximately four to eight other gay men. Make sure everyone who isn’t in the group hates himself on a daily basis.
  2. Depending on your age group, refer to each other as characters from The Golden Girls or Pretty Little Liars. Preferably both. Shut up, Blanche.
  3. Make sure one person in your group knows nothing about pop culture. Destroy that person.
  4. Make sure there’s romantic history that threatens to tear all of you apart at any moment, usually on Saturday nights, so you can go to brunch, which is a form of kindergarten peace-making for grown men.
  5. Mimosas.
  6. Mimosas.
  7. Mimosas.
  8. Sometimes Bloody Marys. But no.
  9. Bottomless mimosas.
  10. Themed parties. Coordinate costumes.
  11. Use gifs, memes, and emojis, because words are for the weak.
  12. Take shirtless photos. What better place than the grocery store?
  13. Do the same fitness class together because it’s what our founding fathers would have wanted.
  14. #gay #gayboy #instafamous #abs #model #malemodel #malemodels #malemodelzzz #wordassociation #ionlywork40hourweeksandhavenothingbettertodo #squad #asquad #bsquad #isthereacsquad? #questions #slay
  15. Make sure the prettiest member of the group hates himself.
  16. Never bring carbs to a party. Unless it’s the party of another squad.
  17. Travel to other cities. Be better than them. Snapchat your faces from the plane.
  18. Actually, Snapchat everything.
  19. Ensure your group photo has the most likes on Facebook.
  20. Remember that most of us felt alone for the beginning half of our lives. You know your #squad has your back. Make sure they know you have theirs.

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