A Few Words: 20 Rules for Forming a #Squad
January 5, 2017
- Assemble approximately four to eight other gay men. Make sure everyone who isn’t in the group hates himself on a daily basis.
- Depending on your age group, refer to each other as characters from The Golden Girls or Pretty Little Liars. Preferably both. Shut up, Blanche.
- Make sure one person in your group knows nothing about pop culture. Destroy that person.
- Make sure there’s romantic history that threatens to tear all of you apart at any moment, usually on Saturday nights, so you can go to brunch, which is a form of kindergarten peace-making for grown men.
- Sometimes Bloody Marys. But no.
- Bottomless mimosas.
- Themed parties. Coordinate costumes.
- Use gifs, memes, and emojis, because words are for the weak.
- Take shirtless photos. What better place than the grocery store?
- Do the same fitness class together because it’s what our founding fathers would have wanted.
- #gay #gayboy #instafamous #abs #model #malemodel #malemodels #malemodelzzz #wordassociation #ionlywork40hourweeksandhavenothingbettertodo #squad #asquad #bsquad #isthereacsquad? #questions #slay
- Make sure the prettiest member of the group hates himself.
- Never bring carbs to a party. Unless it’s the party of another squad.
- Travel to other cities. Be better than them. Snapchat your faces from the plane.
- Actually, Snapchat everything.
- Ensure your group photo has the most likes on Facebook.
- Remember that most of us felt alone for the beginning half of our lives. You know your #squad has your back. Make sure they know you have theirs.