The best thing you can gift yourself or a friend this holiday season is the gift of sweat. What better way to burn the Christmas calories away than with unlimited spin, yoga, pilates, and circuit training classes at one of a number of local gyms and fitness fiestas? All for one low monthly fee. ClassPass is perfect for the workoutobsessed person on your list who also has commitment issues.
Dorothy in the Streets, Blanche in the Sheets t-shirt
Have a friend of Dorothy (Blanche, Rose, and Sophia) in your life? Get them this T-shirt! I’ve been wearing it for months. It’s a certified crowd favorite. Strangers will walk up to the wearer and yell, “Picture it” or “Shady Pines, Ma” without warning. Pay homage to the patron saints of gay men everywhere. Just don’t forget to make sure the card attached says, “Thank you for being a friend.”
ClydePetersen on Etsy
Every time I do a gift guide, I make sure to include the gift of all gifts. That’s right, Scottish tablet. What is tablet, you ask, and why is it Scottish? Think toffee times a bajillion. Rich, buttery, melt-in-your-mouth confection perfection. Frankly, if ever the nectar of the gods was turned into candy, it would taste like Scottish tablet. Heart Hebrides of Scotland makes the most sinfully delicious toffee you’re ever likely to taste. And for a few pounds (both of the wallet and waist-size variety) they’ll send you a delicious little gift box all the way from the Isle of Barra.
Life is short, who wants to spend it in the grocery store? Let someone else do the shopping and give the gift of grocery delivery this year. Instacart changed my life. No joke. In just a few clicks, you can have your week’s worth of groceries hand-delivered from your favorite local retailer right to your front door. All for in-store pricing, plus a small delivery fee. Unless that is, you give the gift of Express membership. For just under a hundred bucks, you get a year’s worth of free delivery on all orders over $35. Shut up and take my money!
Make ‘Em Laugh: Short-Term Memories of Longtime Friends by Debbie Reynolds and Dorian Hannaway
If there’s an old queen or movie buff in your life, plop this little gem in their stocking. In fact, plop any one of Debbie Reynolds’ books in their stocking. Guaranteed “favorite gift” status every time. The fastfooted, Academy Award-nominated mother of Princess Leia is a gifted storyteller. The old broad isn’t afraid to dish the gossip and wax fantastic on the golden age of Hollywood. Pro tip: Gift the audio version of the book and you get the added bonus of listening to Ms. Reynolds read every word herself.
The Burger at Parlour / Gift cards
I’ve spent many a Saturday night over the last few years surveying the Minnesota burger landscape. Never, almost ever, have I had a burger quite like the double cheeseburger at Parlour. Trust, dear reader, that it lives up gloriously to all the hype. You’ve heard it’s the best. It is, at the very least, among the best bites of patty porn I’ve ever stuffed in my piehole. Giving the gift of a Parlour burger, then, is a sure way to win Christmas, Hanukkah, or any damned day of the year, holy or not, for which you so choose. And while you’re there picking up a gift card, go ahead and order the burger.
Star Wars Darth Vader Onesie
Everybody’s got a Star Wars nerd on their list. Not every Star Wars nerd gets to say they head to bed every night dressed as Darth Vader. Until you send them the nerdiest (awesomest) adult onesie in the world. Pick up one for yourself and the two of you can head to Star Wars: The Force Awakens in matching onesies. In any other circumstance I would advise against ever leaving your house or being seen in public wearing zip-up jammies, but this is Star Wars we’re talking about, people.