Lucky Bitch Radio with Wanda Wisdom

So you leave me with a couple of thoughts… The main ones are these:
It is an interesting topic, the glasses we all wear that distorts our body image. Of course the internal trauma is horrible, but that is a personal journey as you aptly explained. It is the cycle that starts because of the distorted image that bothers me. Especially in the gay “culture”. it seems to feed the machine of idealized body image and the feeling of overly marginalized people on the flip-side. The images of the young, godlike creatures are promoted within the community. It is not the same as mainstream media in that those images are brought by other, multi-national corporations with huge advertising budgets aimed at attacking and playing at the insecurities of the general population. Our images come directly FROM us and are perpetuated BY us. (If we want to talk about not taking on constructs from the straight culture, this would be a good one to start with. Advertising.)

So… distorted body image begins with the idea of a faulty and unacceptable person. Then we idealize other people (which I believe came from trying to balance oppression and the HIV/AIDS crisis, showing that we are healthy and beautiful) and choose them to represent how we want to be seen as a whole. However, with these “gods” begins the cycle of marginalization and exclusion based on physical appearance. Then a rift begins. The same people that have built up the idols because of low self esteem are feeling marginalized because they are not included in the raising up of perfection and are “ignored”. Then another rift begins because the marginalized begin to reject those that have been able to be accepted into the stereotypical norm, while the ideals still remain. So here we are left with the “healthy, gay ideal” creating a huge void of people that turn to alcohol, drugs, sex, etc. in order to feel as beautiful and wanted as the images they have created and support. Even if they now support them with rejection. Rejection is a form of validation as well. The funny part is that EVERYONE can participate in the drug, alcohol, sex game because no one actually meets the “ideal” standard. So we “fill our holes”.

The way out? Who knows. You have done a great job of starting that conversation. However it seems the issue that MUST be addressed first and foremost is our re-evaluation of what it means to be “valuable” in the community. A rich, hot, muscular, white man CANNOT be the goal. People are dying along the way. If we were to start saying that an idealized glbt person is one that is happy, lives a rich life, is active within a community, and develops their “god-given” gifts of being gay in the first place… marginalization outside of that ideal would only be a personal choice.

God Wanda it’s been SO long since I’ve left you a comment. I guess I just kinda feel stupid leaving comments on week-old episodes you might never read, but I just had to with this one. This episode really hit home with me, mainly the whole eating disorder thing.

I wouldn’t say I so much have an eating disorder as just a body image problem. I was always teased for being the fat kid in school, although I don’t know how big I really was. But throughout high school I lost about 60lbs, mainly just by not eating a thing and working out way too much. Thank God drinking wasn’t involved. I got down to a very unhealthy weight, and because I was getting taller at the time as well, I was pretty much just skin and bone. But in my mind I was still fat.

Over the past few years I’ve gained about 30 back and stayed at a healthy weight for over a year now, but I still see myself as fat, and it takes a lot for me to admit that I’m not. People still comment on how skinny I am which I still makes me feel good, but like you said I guess the brain and eyes can’t always agree on what they’re seeing.

Thanks for another awesome show hun.

Dan

i don’t know why i should be so surprised that you bring up ANOTHER topic that really touches me but i certainly am. you have such an amazing way with words and i’m kind of surprised that someone like yourself suffered from weight issues (i.e. yo yo dieting) as it’s something i TOTALLY have to deal with on a daily basis. i mean the shit you were talking about here is stuff that is SERIOUS and not like the whole normal weight drama we all deal with on a daily basis. i had the whole year where i was completely and utterly waifish and got to face everyone’s basking of compliments as well….

i just have to say how much i love you Wanda and i appreciate you sharing all of this with us. you rock SO SO much!

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