Dating & Relationships

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Skirting the Issues: Alone in Sonoma

My state of mind this Valentine’s Day: Last month I attended a dear friend’s 60th birthday celebration in Sonoma, California. Orchestrated for Brian by his long-time partner, Doug, it was a magnificent affair replete with […]

Photo courtesy of Gordan/

Dateland: Ghost Story

I was driving home from work when it happened. I remember looking at the sky just before the phone began rattling malevolently in the car cup holder where it had been resting as silent as […]


Dateland: Safe Harbor

Driving home with my dogs in a blizzard a few weeks ago, my car was sideswiped by a semi. As my car spun out of control and crossed all lanes of traffic in a mad […]


A Few Words: 20 Rules for Forming a #Squad

Assemble approximately four to eight other gay men. Make sure everyone who isn’t in the group hates himself on a daily basis. Depending on your age group, refer to each other as characters from The Golden […]


A Few Words: Christmas Eve

Christmas and the holiday season should be the happiest time of the whole year: the entire family gathered together, group activities, snow, the scent of pine, warm gingerbread. Christmas always seemed like love incarnate to […]


Skirting The Issues: This is How I’ll Remember 2016

Lost lives. Lost chances. Lost hopes. I could end right here and would have said all that’s needed. Still, there is always more to say. That’s especially true with the new normal of Trump-Pence, where […]


A Word In Edgewise: Only Things Certain Are Death and Taxes

Today, with a good lawyer, taxes have become moot, leaving, “the only thing certain is death,” a topic movingly discussed in Atul Gawande’s highly readable book, Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End. […]


At-Large: 10 Things I Learned in 2016

Reflecting on a year of love, pain, and adventure, here are some of my fresher dispositions on life. Take them as a grain of salt. I’m still growing. 10. Apologies only count if they’re real. […]

Five Dates for Cold Days

I love going on dates that end with a walk around the lake or a walk through the park, but it’s soon to be an arctic tundra outside. (Why do we still live here?) Here’s […]


A Few Words: Hook-Up In Amsterdam

Overheard at a coffee shop: “Gay men these days are just about hooking up. If only they could learn to be emotional. There’s nothing emotional or meaningful about hooking up with a stranger.” I remember […]

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