Out In The Stars
by Charlene LichtensteinHoroscope for Apr. 25-May 11 Plant a bevy of May flowers, and expect some budding surprises over the next four weeks. That’s because Mercury retrogrades, and sparks an imaginative jaunt with Neptune. Don’t ask, “May I?” Just forge ahead, and bloom.
ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 20)
Your thoughts and speech cannot be reined, although you may try to do so. Something quietly but shockingly is out of control with proud Rams. Expect a number of “uh oh” moments when you might spill the beans to friends, or imagine something outrageous and ultimately incorrect. Don’t jump to conclusions, especially when you are so close to the cliff.
TAURUS (APRIL 21-MAY 21)
Queer Bulls feel especially greedy and mercenary now. Unfortunately, your quest for money may not result in extra booty, just extra angst. Mercury and Neptune retrograde, conspiring to dangle the carrot deceptively and tantalizingly out of your reach. Don’t be fooled, and don’t jump for every coin. You will find time to grab the bulging bag later this summer.
GEMINI (MAY 22-JUNE 21)
An exotic stranger would like to take you for a ride. But save your cab fare, and travel on your own instead. Pink Twins are blabbing first, and thinking later. As good as someone looks, that person is less than what he or she appears to be. Mercury and Neptune retrograde manage to weave dreams from floss. It has no substance—sure looks pretty, but has no strength.
CANCER (JUNE 22-JULY 23)
Gay Crabs are apt to pry open everyone’s Pandora’s Box now. Curiosity may get the better of you, and folks find you simply can’t be trusted to keep a secret. Of course, allowing a little spillage now and then is liberating. So, if you decide to open the floodgates, be sure that lovers are comfortable with the water level. When in doubt, float gently on your good name.
LEO (JULY 24-AUGUST 23)
Friends manage to topple the domestic applecart if you allow. Certain truisms are no longer valid, and things you routinely take for granted seem to shift. Maybe proud Lions secretly yearn to modify their current partnerships, and allow changes to be made on their behalf. If you are on the prowl, expect hotsy-totsy romance from an otherwise cool individual.
VIRGO (AUGUST 24-SEPTEMBER 23)
This is the time to consider more carefully what you really want out of life. Is your career path going in the direction you want? Are you hobnobbing with the appropriate nobs, or are they just a bunch of slobs? Queer Virgos have to choose or lose from a couple of major moves now. Take a good hard look at your circumstances, gather your data, and then go with your gut.
LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 24-OCTOBER 23)
Arguably, you never will have a better time to travel than this May. Proud Libras can find adventure, lust, excitement, and surprises in faraway places. But try not to go overboard in any excursion. Keep an eye on your budget, and the amount of time you decide to take from work. Not only are you flying on a dream, but also you may be forgetting some loose ends. Anyone we know?
SCORPIO (OCTOBER 24-NOVEMBER 22)
Not only will your home life become livelier, but also you may find a range of other delightful diversions wherever you hang your hat. Queer Scorps are especially passionate and sexy now, so they can charm anyone they set their mind to charm. Will you waste this on a light bite, or hold out for the full banquet? Why is this night different from all other nights?
SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 23-DECEMBER 22)
May is a time of openness, honesty, and positive changes in any of your relationships, if you are willing to work at it. Even if you are not willing to do so, good changes occur anyway. Maybe it’s because you feel free to express your opinions. Or maybe it’s because you are listening carefully. They say nothing is sexier than a good listener—especially if he or she is naked.
CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 23-JANUARY 20)
If your “in” box is overflowing, take a breath, and think of May. You gain a fresh perspective on any drab cubicle. Pink Caps have several great ideas that can lighten their load at work. But consider implementing them only after they are vetted for practicality and cost. A toned body for swimsuit season is also in the cards, if you do the exercise required.
AQUARIUS (JANUARY 21-FEBRUARY 19)
Make a beeline for any big party scene. You create quite a bit of buzz in your comings and goings. Not only are Aqueerians the toast of the town, but also they grab all the attention, and make the most out of any brief encounter. Choose the most important folks to impress. Jump into the pit, and charm any snake. Speak in a forked tongue if you have to.
PISCES (FEBRUARY 20-MARCH 20)
Guppies are especially intuitive now. They seem to know what will happen before it occurs. This is particularly true with any family-related issue. Get to the core of the matter, and improve the situation. It is also a good time to change your residence. If funds are tight, spruce it up, rather than tear it down. Hint: Lose the macramé plant hangers.
© 2008 THE STARRY EYE, LLC. All Rights Reserved. For Entertainment Purposes Only. Lichtenstein’s blog www.thestarryeye.typepad.com covers everything New Age. Her astrology book HerScopes: A Guide To Astrology For Lesbians is the best in tongue-in-cheek astrology.